Friday, 23 February 2007

New Element Discovered

While I was in the US, a major research institution announced the discovery of the densest element yet known to science. The new element has been named "Bushcronium."

Bushcronium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 311. These particles are held together by dark forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

The symbol for Bushcronium is "W".

Bushcronium's mass actually increases over time, as morons randomly interact with various elements in the atmosphere and become assistant deputy neutrons in a Bushcronium molecule, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe that Bushcronium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass".

When catalyzed with money, Bushcronium activates Foxnewsium, an element that radiates orders of magnitude more energy, albeit incoherent noise, since it has ½ as many peons but twice as many morons.

10 comments:

Mr Zip said...

Only one thing wrong - "W" is the symbol for Tungsten. He can't even get that right.

Winchester whisperer said...

Welcome back! Hope you enjoyed sunny SF. Love the Bush post. You didn't mention Blairicum...

Mr Zip said...

I was in America. They think Tony is a cool guy. I guess, compared to Bush ...

ian gordon said...

This may indeed be a new element. But I suspect it's been around for years, only assuming different names.

Mr Zip said...

It's known as the Conservation of Matter.

leslyf said...

Hey Great Post! I know a lot of my friends would love this ... I will send them the link.

Mr Zip said...

Come one, come all. Everybody welcome down on Boogie Street.

jafabrit said...

Not a bonus for science eh ;)

funny post.

Sunil said...

Original!!

Mr Zip said...

Welcome, Sunil. Original it may be, but alas, I am not the originator.