Fascinating Elbow Stories

I went to the surgery on Tuesday to have my stitches taken out by the Practice Nurse. She was quick and efficient, but couldn't tell yet whether there might be a final stitch hidden under a scab.

"Just give it time," she said, "and if, after the scab has come off there's another blue stitch, come back and I'll take it out. Meanwhile, there's no need for a dressing. Let the air get at it."

By Wednesday the scab seemed to have disappeared and the elbow looked OK, if a little red. Of course, the thing about elbows is that, however hard you try, you can never get to look closer than an upper arm's length away.

Anyway, Wednesday night I went out for a pint or two with Mrs Sums & The Architect to tell them of my adventures. On the way home, I thought my elbow felt a little sticky. Sure enough, when I got my jacket off, there were several lines of clear gummy stuff running down from one point of the wound and - worse yet - there appeared to be something ... dangling. Was it me? Was it a stitch? It wasn't blue like the other stitches, so maybe it was me ...

I managed to get it to stop oozing and slapped an elastoplast on it. Then passed an uncomfortable night trying not to sleep on that side.

As it happened I had an appointment with The Nice Doctor today. I wanted him to make sure that at this important stage of my life, everything is working as well as can be expected, but I figured I might as well take the opportunity to let him have a look at my elbow.

First of all, though, he wanted to look at my picture which I'd gone to the Club to collect. He ventured the opinion that it was like a Jack Vettriano, but because he is Nice, I accepted that he meant it as a compliment.

The Nice Doctor eventually decided to look at my elbow. He looked at it and said that he thought, apart from a little swelling, it seemed to be doing well.

"But what about the dangly bit?" I asked, because I could tell he hadn't noticed it and really, it was the dangly bit that was exercising my mind somewhat.

"Aaaah, yes, I see," he said and then told me that my internal stitching was hanging out. Within minutes he'd gone out of the room and come back with something sharp and severed the dangle.

I'm still mentally reeling. My internal stitching was hanging out, for god's sake. I'm coming undone!! I feel like a teddy bear with his kapok coming adrift.